Above and Beyond
Day 1 — A story about love, death, and finding back oneself through courage
“I… I am sorry… I can’t …I can’t do this anymore.”
It was a slow uttering of an excruciating confession, interrupted by loud sneezing breath throbbing at every corner of the room.
He trembled with the last word. As his glance held her concentration tightly under the seizure of a painful contemplation, tears welled down his deep black eyes.
“You can’t rely on me. No matter how hard I try, I can’t make it… I can’t rely on myself. This uselessness is in my blood.”
Swimming into the hole of that blackness, tears flooded her vision into a dreamy image filled with a traumatic content too unreal right at the moment.
So he held up his hand armed with a trigger and whispered,
“Look at me, sis. I will fail you forever more. But no matter how useless I am I still want to be your good lil brother and fulfill the promise I make with mommy. This is the best thing I can do for you.
I love you.”
Those timid words spoken gently slowly drowned her ears as loud as a repetitive echo, and her mouth parted a little. Pacing leisurely as her mind drifted in the tensed atmosphere, the tension slowly hit the pressure high.
Then… there came a loud numbing shot.
Somebody fell to the ground, blood gushed.
Red floor and a lifeless warm body. Her mind folded into a ball of a rapid electrifying network of heavy thoughts. That feeling of nirvana was drained away by the resuscitation of remorse and disbelief.
“Hu-huh… Gin-n. Ginn, GINNNN!”
xxxx
Rina, she was a thin girl, bushy black hair and tanned skin. She had beautiful coal black eyes like her brother. Those eyes with a careless stupid glance.
And she looked like someone who would chase a bus in a heavy rain blinded by her destination without looking at the circumstances. Yes, a very hard working person much liked using herself all the time. Because after their parent died, you know, she took all the responsibility on her shoulder without complaining ‘once’.
She could only get over with the pressure by abusing… dirty things. Abusing substances.
Gin was not like her, he was a very depressed, timid kid who didn’t dare to speak in the crowd, didn’t dare to look into people’s eyes. Indeed, he always cried when he didn’t know what to do.
Rina tried to raise him, but the best he could do was to help her with the house chore.
But whenever she was back home, she was always occupied with drugs. Gin couldn’t communicate with her that way.
He was scared.
He sat in the corner of the same room with Rina drowning in her emotion and yelling their parent’s name all the time. He sat and watched her just to make sure she was safe.
You know, those days when you were too young to be old.
For Kiera
To be continued…
